tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86638241238862566492024-02-07T19:30:30.253-08:00The Ties That BindShell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-11500113918099268462014-11-30T10:22:00.000-08:002014-12-10T13:09:15.090-08:00Families CAN Be Together Forever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<em><span style="color: purple;">"The family is central to the creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children..... In the pre-mortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life." </span><span style="color: black;">(The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 3)</span></em></div>
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<span style="color: black;">You might be wondering why this part of the blog wasn't included when I first began writing. As I studied for this college course on The Family, I had a wide array of topics and chapters from which to glean. I intentionally placed this part at the end of my blog because I wanted to wrap up what we had been talking about all along, and wanted to re-emphasize the importance of families as a beautiful part of the Plan of Salvation. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">This blog's main audience is intended for those not of my faith, for those investigating my church, and for those who already belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but are not fully active in the church. In any one of these scenarios I mentioned, we all have something in common. We have a family of our own, or belong to a family. I truly believe that for the most part, we want to be with our family forever, or at least want to take steps to mend family relationships. </span></div>
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From the text, <em>Successful Marriages and Families</em>, Elder Hugh B. Brown stated, </div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>"The family concept is one of the major and most important of the whole theological doctrine. In fact, our very concept of heaven itself is the projection of the home into eternity. Salvation, then, is essentially a family affair, and full participation in the plan of salvation can be had only in family units." (pg. 345)</em></span></div>
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When my father died at age 58, although it was a sad time for me, I knew in my heart that all was going to be okay. I was living in Salt Lake City at the time, as a nanny. The mother of the children I took care of, who was Jewish, asked me how I was doing. I told her, with tears in my eyes, that I knew I would see my father again someday because our family had been sealed in the temple. Because of that binding action, I could, if I lived a righteous life, see my father again. This is one of the most unique blessings in our church, in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our families can be together forever! Imagine that! Marriages do not have to end at 'till death do us part.' In my eyes, that would be a tragedy to never be with my husband or children after this mortal life. </div>
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Taken from the text, please ponder on the following statement:</div>
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<em><span style="color: blue;">"The power to seal families that was restored through the prophet Joseph Smith was given anciently by the Savior to Peter (Matthew 16:19) and is held by all presidents of the Church today, who in turn bestow this authority on others, who then perform these sacred ordinances in the holy temples. Pertaining to these ordinances, Elder A. Theodore Tuttle of the Seventy taught: </span></em></div>
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<em><span style="color: blue;">'Frequently we perform marriages in the temple. These marriages are properly called celestial marriages, temple sealings, or eternal marriages.... The family is the most important relationship in this life. In reality, the bride and groom are called to assignments in the family from which they are never released, except through transgression. This the one eternal unit which can exist in the presence of God'". (pg. 343).</span></em></div>
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<span style="color: black;">In the New Testament we learn of the apostasy where many doctrines were lost. Part of that was the eternal nature of the family as well as the fact that we existed before we came to earth. Much more information on this can be found <a href="http://www.mormon.org/">here</a></span>. In this website you can browse and search questions and answers to more fully understand the church doctrine on the eternal nature of the family. </div>
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I believe that the creation of the world, the fall of Adam, the restoration of the Gospel (because of the apostasy the earth endured for a time) are all part of God's plan to help bring back the ability to have our families be eternal, and to enjoy our families beyond the grave that we might live in Happiness forever. This time on earth is a probationary time for us to learn to be part of a family, to know what our individual roles mean and how to become more like our Father in Heaven. The ties that bind our families consist of covenants we make in the temple, always promising to do our very best and be what our Heavenly Father knows we can become.</div>
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<em><span style="color: blue;">"It should be the work and glory of all Latter-day Saints to make and keep these sacred covenants, to teach these transcendent truths to those who do not yet know of them, and to work in God's holy temples to make these covenants and ordinances available to all the children of God." (pg. 345)</span></em></div>
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That is what I want to do.... to share what I know to be true. I am grateful for the family in which I was born and the family I am helping to raise now with my husband. I love them! I wouldn't want to live eternity without them, for what would be the purpose?</div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-91523896644437710562014-11-30T09:42:00.001-08:002014-12-10T13:02:31.390-08:00A Glass Half Empty... or Half Full?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strong><em><span style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: purple;">"In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters.... accepted God's plan by which his children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection.... The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave."</span> </span></em></strong></div>
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<strong><em><span style="color: black;">(The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 3)</span></em></strong></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Life is hard. No one said it would be easy. It comes with trials of all shapes and sizes, and no one is immune from them. In the above phrase taken from The Family Proclamation, the part that causes me to ponder is that we "accepted God's plan." I believe that. This life is a time for us to be tested, to go through the wringer, so to speak, but to also enjoy life even amidst the pain and heartache. But pain hurts; physically, emotionally, mentally. No matter how you look at it, whatever the trial; whether it be death, disability, divorce, you name it..... it is painful. Thankfully, though, we have the promised blessings from The Family Proclamation to help guide us through these difficult times. This is our time, our opportunity to "gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection" and one day enjoy the "the divine plan of happiness."</span></div>
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When I was 22 years old, living as a young, single adult in another state from my parents, my father died suddenly from a massive heart attack. Just two years later, after having been married for only one year, my first-born child, McKenna, died after a nearly four month battle with a fatal lung disease. I had become a daughter, who lost her father, to a mother who lost her baby girl, in a matter of two years. Those were two life-altering events which shaped me into who I am today. But they were not easy experiences to endure. They were heart-wrenching to say the least. Yet I was and am so grateful for the proclamation which promises me that family relationships can be perpetuated beyond the grave.<br />
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In the text, <em>Successful Marriages and Families, </em>I came across this quote:</div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>"In many ways, the principle of opposition is an important part of the crucible experience. Many of life's experiences are oppositional in nature and involve learning through contrast and comparison.... Why must there be opposition? The Lord taught Adam that opposition is needed in this life so that the children of God can 'taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good.' (Moses 6:55)"</em> (pg. 237).</span><br />
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<span style="color: black;">This section of my blog is sensitive in nature. I will share some very tender and painful experiences from friends of mine that have allowed me to share them with you. I appreciate their honesty and willingness to share the trials they have endured and to some extent are still enduring. </span></div>
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This first story is from a friend who has battled the trial of divorce in her life. In her words she says:</div>
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<span class="null"><span style="color: #990000;"><em>I grew up in Utah always expecting to marry young and have a large family. It's what I wanted. So living the single life all the way to 36 was truly difficult for me. I struggled with the "why" of being alone when it was a righteous desire to marry and have children (and certainly something God would want for me too). By the time I got married, I considered it my own personal miracle. The answer to all my prayers was "yes", and after we married, I felt the burden of years of loneliness lift. Within three months of our marriage, my husband developed a disabling migraine, which persisted for the next 2.5 years. As I dealt with the disability of his illness and the slow failure of our marriage, I once again found myself struggling with great pain. When I finally made the choice to leave my husband--not because of his illness, but because he made choices that destroyed our marriage--I entered what was, in some ways, the darkest time in my life. The irony is that 2014--one of the most painful in my life--has also been one of the brightest, most pervasive and powerful lessons on love. </em></span></span></div>
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<span class="null"><span style="color: #990000;"><em>In the midst of my divorce, I taught a lesson in Gospel Doctrine, where I ran across this quote: “[The] ability to turn everything into something good appears to be a godly characteristic. Our Heavenly Father always seems able to do this. Everything, no matter how dire, becomes a victory to the Lord. Joseph, although a slave and wholly undeserving of this fate, nevertheless remained faithful to the Lord and continued to live the commandments and made something very good of his degrading circumstances. People like this cannot be defeated” (Elder Hartman Rector Jr. in Conference Report, Oct. 1972, 170; or Ensign, Jan. 1973, 130).</em></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><em>I rejected the comments I was hearing from others as I went through my divorce--"God must think you're strong to give you this trial"--and the questions about why I thought this was happening to me. I don't know why it happened to me! I struggled long and hard, and finally decided that sometimes there isn't a "why" beyond the fact my husband made stupid choices and opted out of our marriage. Sometimes bad things happen in life merely because this is mortality. And sometimes bad things happen because we all have agency, and we do dumb things. I believe in a loving Father as God--a father who would never manipulate his daughter into a horrible marriage to somehow make her grow. Could you imagine doing that to your own child?? I do, however, believe that He lets bad things happen to us--whether it be through the natural consequence of mortality or through consequences of our own choices. He may not plan for horrible things to happen, but He also won't always protect us when they do. </em></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><em>Not long after my divorce I read a great book by Rabbi Harold Kushner in which he said the following: "Pain is the price we pay for being alive ... When we understand that, our question will change from, 'Why do we have to feel pain?' to 'What do we do with our pain so that it becomes meaningful and not just pointless empty suffering? How can we turn all the painful experiences of our lives into ... growing pains?' We may not ever understand why we suffer or be able to control the forces that cause our suffering, but we can have a lot to say about what the suffering does to us, and what sort of people we become because of it. Pain makes some people bitter and envious. It makes others sensitive and compassionate. It is the result, not the cause, of pain that makes some experiences of pain meaningful and others empty and destructive."</em></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><em>It echoed for me another quote I have long loved from Viktor Frankl, "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. ... It is this spiritual freedom—which cannot be taken away—that makes life meaningful and purposeful ... Man's inner strength may raise him above his outward fate."</em></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><em>The reality is that bad things will happen to us. If we get caught up in the why--either in questioning God/growing bitter at him, or (alternatively), assuming we can puzzle out the answer to all our life's trials ourselves--then I think we're wasting our time. It's not about understanding why. It's not about questioning or figuring out our life path. It is about accepting that something bad has happened and then letting go of anger or hurt or bitterness or our need to accuse God of abandoning us. At that point it becomes a chance for us to choose an attitude of humility; to express our trust in God; and to allow Him to make something wonderful of our circumstances. That is the way--I believe--God works. Bad things will come--not as specially-crafted trials meant to test our metal (those may happen, but for the most part, I think just "life" happens)--but like Joseph in the quote from Elder Rector, when we give ourselves and our wills and our trust to God, He can still make something wonderful of it. And we can't be defeated.</em></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><em>So, I guess I would say that my trials have changed me. Not in and of themselves as "designer adversity", but because they have driven me to my knees and to a place where I have had to choose between bitterness and forgiveness; between anger and humility; between sorrow and happiness. It's everyone's choice as to whether their darkest moment will remain dark, or will bring them new light and understanding and eventual happiness.</em></span></div>
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When I read this experience from my friend, I think again about the part in the proclamation I quoted above, that we accepted His plan and came to gain earthly experience. Life truly is a test for us, and how we react to those tests, as my friend descried above, will help determine whether or not we are choosing happiness. She has and continues to be a beautiful example to me of understanding how to move forward with life, knowing that Heavenly Father is aware of her, hasn't forgotten her, loves her and wants her to have happiness.</div>
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The next story is from a dear friend of mine, Vannessah. She is not a member of the church (yet!), but she is, what I like to call, "the most active non-member" of our ward, as she has been coming to church sometimes with and without her children for the past few years. I have come to know Vannessah on a more personal level as we have gone through similar life experiences of losing a child. I asked Vannessah if she wouldn't mind me sharing her thoughts on experiencing disability, death and divorce, as she has been through all three of them. In her words she said:</div>
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<span class="null"><span style="color: #990000;"><em>My attitude towards my daughter's death, my Stage IV breast cancer and . . . uh-hum, three divorces, are kind of fluid. At first, they were all devastating. Time heals a lot, though. I've probably healed less from the divorces than my child's death or my terminal cancer, because with those two I really had no hand in them. But with the divorces I could have changed things, done better . . . a lot of culpability and guilt that will never go away. </em></span></span></div>
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<span class="null"><span style="color: #990000;"><em>I've gained something from each of these trials. I've always been terrified of developing a serious disease, the thought of treatment, needles, mortality, etc. So it was petrifying when it happened and it took a long time to get my head wrapped around it, and to realize that whatever time I have left is time and I can't be paralyzed. It was, of course, an extra trial that I had to "evict" my husband from the house - which he still blames me for. </em></span></span><br />
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<span class="null"><span style="color: #990000;"><em> Losing a child is without-a-doubt the most horrible of trials. </em></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><em> It took years to do alright again - little things that others wouldn't see - and I still take anti-depressants to keep "skating" above the tragedy (I know it's there but just like water under the ice, I'm not falling through). I work really hard to make sure I say her name a lot and I never allow anyone to omit her (I have five children, I list her current age with the others when people ask me my kids' ages, etc.). The divorces are an on-going I-beat-myself-up-for-them. I still keep in contact, by varying degrees, with all three, so it's a constant roller-coaster of feelings (in my mind). I've learned that I'm probably not relationship material as much as I look at couples and want the love and partnership they have. </em></span>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><em>I generally think my glass is half-full, despite trials. It's life and it's thy way it is.</em></span></div>
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I love Vannessah! She is a stalwart example to me of someone who has and continues to pull through the most difficult of trials. I love her perspective at the end, "I generally think my glass is half-full." After all she's gone through, to still be able to say that is so encouraging to me. I want Vannessah to also know, that the words from the Family Proclamation are true. I know them to be true because of the Holy Ghost manifesting it to me. Because both she and I have had children that died, I know that we can be with them again someday. Our beautiful girls' lives have not ended, and they are waiting for their mommas to return to them again. <br />
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Elder Bruce C Hafen said:<br />
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<em><span style="color: blue;">"Somehow our joyful experiences mean more when we are fully conscious of the alternatives and the contrasts that surround us. We prize the sweet more when we have tasted the bitter. We appreciate our health when we see sickness.... These contrasts do not deter our idealism. Properly understood, they only make the moments of the true joy worth waiting for." (pg. 240),</span></em></div>
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I want to end this post by sharing a beautiful Mormon Message, The Refiner's Fire, that sums up how I feel about this very tender part of the Family Proclamation. <br />
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-22475966215945721392014-11-20T20:57:00.001-08:002014-12-10T12:49:32.634-08:00Are We Having Fun Yet?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strong><em><span style="color: purple;">"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and WHOLESOME RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES"</span><span style="color: black;"> (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 7)</span></em></strong></div>
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This Mormon Message I want to share with you is a great introduction to this post. Take a look.</div>
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I have often thought about each particular principle mentioned in the above quote from the proclamation. In one of my recent <a href="http://thetiesthatbindthefamily.blogspot.com/2014/11/all-in-days-work.html">posts</a>, we talked about work. This time we will talk about wholesome recreational activities. The fact that this was included in the Family Proclamation says to me that it is very important to our Heavenly Father that we understand its value and implement it in our lives so that we can achieve happiness in our marriages and families. I believe we were sent to earth to enjoy life, to be happy, and part of that encompasses the wholesome activities we can do to enrich our lives and strengthen our families.</div>
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In the text for my class on the Family, research has been devoted to determining what makes a family happy. What does it consist of? We must be careful to distinguish what it is that truly gives us fulfillment. There is a difference between pleasure and happiness.<em> <strong>"Gratification results when we invest rather than consume"</strong></em> (Successful Marriages and Families pg. 226). </div>
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Often, members of our church are asked the question by non-members, "Why are Mormon families so happy?" I don't think there is just one answer to this question. It involves a lot of things, like the knowledge we have of eternal families, that we work together in our family unit to love and serve one another. I would also venture to say that it is because we take time to be with one another, spending quality and quantity of time together as a couple and/or family. We like to have fun! Wholesome fun! But what does that consist of, especially in this day and age when drugs, alcohol and immorality in the world are promoted? </div>
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I asked my Facebook friends if they would share what they did growing up and/or what they are doing now to achieve wholesome recreational activities. Several of the responses are from married couples who don't have children, or their children are no longer at home, and they've shared what they do as couples.</div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205120988174955:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205120988174955:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205120988174955:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><em><strong><span style="color: #274e13;">* Birding</span></strong></em></span></span></span></div>
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* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><strong><em><span style="color: #274e13;">What comes to mind automatically is anything involving nature</span></em></strong></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"> * <strong><em><span style="color: #274e13;">Board games. Lots and lots of board games</span></em></strong></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span aria-hidden="true" class="emoticon_text"><em><strong><span style="color: #274e13;">* Camping for the family</span></strong></em></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205121018295708:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span aria-hidden="true" class="emoticon_text"> * <strong><em><span style="color: #274e13;">There's an old saying "the family that prays together, stays together" I also believe "the family that plays together, stays together". Some of our favorite things include traveling, board games, working in the yard/garden together, taking care of our doggies, scrapbooking and just hanging out together, because we are truly best friends.</span></em></strong></span></span></span></span></div>
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The list could go on and on. There are so many things that can be done, and most of them don't need to involve money. Some things my family loves to do are go on Sunday walks, bike rides, drives, little getaways to the coast, and we love to save our money and go traveling. One of our favorite things to do is watch movies together and watch or go to basketball games. I especially love to do those things that my children have a particular interest in. I feel it shows my love towards them and a willingness to participate in what they enjoy. It is also a good way to show love towards one another in our family when we support each other in our various activities, such as sporting events, piano recitals, gymnastic meets..... whatever the occasion is. Make it fun. Show your kids you love them by being there for them. The point is to be together, and doing something that is wholesome and doesn't detract from the principles we are striving to live in our lives.</div>
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I received this response that I wanted to include as well:</div>
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<em><strong><span style="color: #274e13;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205125872497060:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205125872497060:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205120975934649_10205125872497060:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* My dad always refused to swim with us. I didn't get the whole body image thing back then, but I also felt like he "NEVER did ANYTHING" with us. It was always my mom. I know people get uncomfortable doing things, but I think wholesome recreation involves occasionally being outside one's comfort zone.</span></span></span></span></strong></em></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;">I thought this was an interesting perspective. Are we missing out on precious time spent with our children and/or spouse if we are too uncomfortable for one reason or another? I hope not. Our children just want to be with us. They want time with their family to grow bonds and ties that bind us together.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;">In the text from my Family class, it says this:</span></span></div>
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<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">"We have multiple televisions in our homes, personal computers at work and home, digital music players in our pockets that plug into our ears, and cell phones within easy reach. We seem to be connected to the whole world electronically, yet disconnected to those closest to us" (pg. 228).</span></em></strong></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/bDygQwMObvo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<strong><em><span style="color: blue;">"The components to wholesome recreation include opportunities to verbally communicate, develop skills, face challenges, create memories, share traditions and beliefs, and spend time together in the family setting" (pg. 233).</span></em></strong></div>
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<span style="color: black;">If it's been a while since you spent some wholesome recreational time with your family, I would challenge you to start now. Start small if you need to. Let your children and/or spouse help in the planning. Heavenly Father wants us to enjoy life, to be happy. And I firmly believe this can be wonderful preparation for the eternities when we can be with our family living in joy.</span></div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-63025214365758293772014-11-14T13:01:00.004-08:002014-12-10T12:44:30.138-08:00All In A Day's Work<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strong><em><span style="color: purple;">"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of.... work"</span></em></strong></div>
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<span style="color: black;">(The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 7)</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I think one of the most stressful parts of parenting for me is keeping the house clean. Getting my children to participate in this effort without the constant, automatic sigh and shoulders drooping when asking one of them to clean their room, or the bathroom, or mow the lawn. It is a constant battle, some months worse than others. I've had spans of time where I felt like I was knocking it out of the park when there was cooperation.... but then the excitement wore off. </span></div>
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In one of my first <a href="http://thetiesthatbindthefamily.blogspot.com/2014/10/husbands-and-wives-as-equal-partners.html">posts</a> for this blog, a recent member of the church, newly married, wanted to know how husband and wife divided their responsibilities. I think this next piece of advice is worth noting:<br />
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<em><strong><span style="color: #990000;">"New husbands learn three things: 1) Your wife may become a mother, but you are not one of her children.... 2) There is no job so hard or disgusting that your wife can do it and you can't...... 3) If you do it now, she won't have to do it later" </span></strong></em>(Successful Marriages and Families pg. 223).</div>
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I had to chuckle after I read that!</div>
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I want to take it further this time and talk about how a family, as a whole and working together, are learning divine principles that our Heavenly Father want us to know. Because "work" is part of The Family Proclamation, I know that it is an important piece of how our families are tied together.</div>
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Let me start off with a quote from the text, <em>Successful Marriages and Families. <strong>"Housework is also a major source of contention between the sexes. One study found that six months into marriage, disagreement over allocation of household chores was the top source of conflict between husband and wife, and it remained so after five years" </strong></em>(Cox, 1996, pg. 213). I was shocked by this number. Perhaps this is a discussion that should happen before a couple marries so they understand each other's expectation. Further in the book, the authors explain:</div>
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<strong><em><span style="color: #990000;">"When family members work together in the right spirit, a foundation of caring and commitment grows out of their shared experience. The most ordinary tasks, like fixing meals or doing laundry, hold great potential for connecting us to those we serve and with whom we serve."</span></em></strong> (pg. 214)</div>
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Isn't this the idea that every mother wishes? I know I do. I posed a question on Facebook asking my friends their thoughts on doing chores and how to get their children (or future children) to participate. These are some of the responses:</div>
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<span style="color: blue;">* It would help me and allow me to do other important things that would be mutually beneficial. And then when they agree later I'd ask if they had done such and such chore so that we both could move forward to bigger and better things.</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">When I was a kid my mom paid per chore, it only worked for me, my brother couldn't care less about the money, but hey I made lots of money! Lol I tell my kids the chores are what they do to earn privileges like TV or games.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;"></span></span></span></span> </div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;">* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">Say what you mean and mean what you say. Explain that everyone in the family has work/chores to do and each has to do his part, or our family doesn't function well. If they want to have a happy mom they need to do their chore so she can have time to do </span></span><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">fun things with them. Make sure everyone has chores. My kids started having chores at the age of two, they could empty the dishwasher. Make sure to be finished on a certain day and no other activities happening, and they don't leave the house unless they're done. For our family we call them Friday chores and everybody does their chores on Friday. They need to be done if they want to have fun activities on the weekend. If they grow up with you following through they won't question it.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;">* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">I hate the word chore because it sounds like such a chore. I teach my kids life skills that they need to master before they leave home so they can live well without their "mommy".</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;">* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">We all live here so we all have to take part in cleaning. On Saturdays we have a big clean and we always go to lunch afterwards. Get everything done and we get a reward. Other than that I simply ask and my kids do it. Please empty the dishwasher, </span></span><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">take out the trash, etc. If you want me to cook dinner and take care of the bigger things you need to help with the smaller ones. Jared is the only one that will suddenly have to go to the bathroom or something to try to avoid chores. When they were younger we had a chore chart. They had to mark it with a sticker when the chore was done. At random I would take the chart down and pay for chores. If they hadn't marked it they didn't get paid - just like at your job - if you don't clock in you don't get paid. I have been very fortunate to not have kids who fight with me. They are simple requests, I ask nicely - they do what is asked.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074373929628:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205074402010330:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205075046986454:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076132853600:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;">* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076136533692:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076136533692:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".4e.1:3:1:$comment10205073546828951_10205076136533692:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">I had a friend that used to put chores on 3x5 cards when her kids were all dating age. She would put them out on the table at 11:30 on Friday night. Last one home usually got the bathrooms. This helped with curfew and chores.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
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I think these are some great ideas. Not all of them may work for you, but what is important is that we find what clicks for our family. There was a time where I had a list on the wall for each child that had on it their individual responsibilities; whether it be their bedroom, a certain part of the house, homework, practicing their instrument, and so forth. They got paid by their age each week. 10% went to tithing, 20% went directly in the bank, the rest was for them to have. Now, before some of you get all upset about kids getting paid for their chores, I had a pretty good reason. (I got this idea from another blog, too). The money they earned was for their own clothing and entertainment. The things that I was paying for, they now had to earn. You see, it wasn't taking any extra money from my budget that I wasn't already using on them to begin with. A few of my children really wanted to buy a certain piece of clothing, or a video game. When they saw the price tag and knew that they were the one's paying for it, they immediately thought of how important it really was to begin with. 99% of the time they would not end up buying what they thought they wanted or needed.</div>
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The trend I see from these responses is also that of work ethic. We want our children to grow up and be responsible citizens, to be able to take care of themselves, and do what it takes to achieve that. The best place is in the home. I came across a great segment of video from an <a href="http://www.mormonchannel.org/conversations-videos?v=1677268964001">interview</a> with Elder Ben E Banks of the church and he and his wife talking about a good work ethic. It's just a few minutes long, so take a look.</div>
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You've heard the saying, <em>"When a family prays together, they stay together."</em> I think we can apply the same message to working together in the family. Believe it or not, when families work alongside each other, wonderful, lasting relationships can develop. Take a look at this sweet 1 minute video of a father and son working together.</div>
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Great conversations can be had when we spend time with our children. And you never know, they may end up not realizing they're "doing chores" when they're spending valuable time with their family.</div>
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I love this passage from the text:</div>
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<strong><em>"One young mother recalls pondering during scripture study why family work constantly requires every hour of every day. While reading about the law of Moses, she realized that 'just as the law was designed to remind the people of the Lord, our family work has been designed to point our hearts toward the central reason we are here on earth - to build a family..... If children were never underfoot and only had to be fed once a day, parents would get distracted. But because they are spitting up on us, dumping cereal on our floors, and saying, 'Mommy'?' all day, there's no way we can forget (where) our focus needs to be" (pg. 221)</em></strong></div>
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Don't you just love that? I know I do. That has really made me want to change my attitude about my own responsibilities around the house, and especially with my children. I know for me, the times when I ask my children in a loving way to help out, they usually respond likewise. </div>
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Most importantly, if we can instill in our children a good work ethic that helps them develop closer relationships with each member of the family, then I believe we are helping to fulfill part of The Family Proclamation that says we can be successful as a family. And at the same time, we are becoming more like our Savior.</div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-49078920704887480472014-11-12T16:30:00.000-08:002014-12-10T15:01:05.461-08:00Let Faith Be Your Rock<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<strong><span style="color: purple;"><em>Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith (and) prayer.<span style="color: black;"> (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 7)</span></em></span></strong></div>
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I just love this topic of faith and family. I feel so blessed to be a member of this church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, because it fills me with so much knowledge of my Savior and Heavenly Father and Their plan of Happiness. Life is hard! There's no getting around that. We all have trials, but it's how we get through them that determine the outcome and how we move on. </div>
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I have had many friends over the years that have joined this church and wondered how and why families are happy. What makes them press on in difficult times? Well, I say to them that it isn't just one thing, but a culmination of things, practices, beliefs, that encourage us. Most importantly for me, it is faith in Heavenly Father and the power of prayer. For some, especially those who weren't very religious before they became interested and then joined the church, they can see a difference of why religion, faith in something, or someone, helps them in their daily lives.</div>
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Please watch this very tender video about the need for faith in our lives.</div>
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From the textbook in my Family class, Joseph, a non-denominational Christian father said this:</div>
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<em><span style="color: purple;">"There's something that.... when as a family your hearts are pointed together toward the same thing, and it's God, then parenting and economics and space and food and disagreements and hassles and joys and celebrations and all that other stuff.... it works different, it seems different, it feels different.... Our family is all oriented in the same way. Christ is King, He's the center, He's what it's all about.... Our faith forms our relationships and everything about us." </span></em>(pg. 191)</div>
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For those who might want further understanding on how religion and faith go hand-in-hand, ponder on what Emily, a married mother of 5, and a member of the LDS church had to say on the topic:</div>
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<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$4:0"><em><span style="color: purple;">Faith is not "science"-based. It is believing something without having to have tactile proof of its existence. Whether it be fa</span></em></span><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><em><span style="color: purple;"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">ith in knowing something's going to happen for the better or faith in our Heavenly Father. If you have that faith, there is some kind of religion in your life, however a person deems a religion to be. That's one way of seeing it. </span><br data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$1:0" /><br data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$3:0" /><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0">Another is more personal. I would say this: without faith and religion, it's like playing the lottery. Sure, you have a chance that your children will turn out just fine, that they'll make that choice to choose the right in circumstances they are faced with. A chance, like betting. But we all know how gambling goes, 90 times out of 100 you don't win. The odds are not ever in your favor. But if you do everything you can by promoting and exercising faith and your religion in front of your kids as an example your odds flip and it becomes "ever if your favor". </span></span></em></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><em><span style="color: purple;"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"></span></span></em></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><em><span style="color: purple;"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0">Children learn by example be it good or bad. They quietly watch and learn every little nasty habit we have emotionally and physically. And they also watch us with our goodness too, as in service we choose to perform and words we choose to say, integrity we posses. These things are helped by having faith and religion. Religion prompts the curiosities and faith helps answer and seal those. You also need religion with faith otherwise where do the origins of the faith seed that's planted in your heart come from? </span></span></em><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0"><em><span style="color: purple;">Religion is like a university with many different aspects to it that all come together to teach and to form a perfect degree in the end. Faith is the homework that is required daily in order to maintain those subjects. You can't succeed in college without doing homework. Likewise, if you are doing homework without direction of a class, you become stagnant. You do not progress and it eventually just becomes an unorganized mess that just creates confusion and then it is ultimately dropped for lack of direction.</span></em> </span></span></span></div>
<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0"></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0">I think Emily gave a great description and analogy. Along with what she said, I want to talk a bit about family rituals. What can they be? Prayer, scripture reading, attending church together; these create bonds that can tie families together and create a faith-based home. They might not be the easiest to implement if you aren't used to practicing them, but I can testify they are essential in building faith in ourselves and those in our families, and in the Savior. I know for me, when I become relaxed in my daily prayers or scripture reading my days don't fair as well and I realize I am missing something important in my life. </span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0"></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0">Faith is my rock I lean on to when I am vulnerable. When my first baby at 2 1/2 months old had a double lung transplant, when I was told I would have a 25% chance of having a baby with the same disease, when I was told she would not make it, and when we placed her sweet little body in the grave, I couldn't have gone through those trials without faith in my all-knowing Heavenly Father. It was only through faith and prayer, my husband and myself being equally yoked, that I was able to get through it. I've had 4 healthy children since the passing of my McKenna. Each pregnancy and birth were faith building experiences, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I was able to get through the most difficult time of my life because of the faith I placed in Heavenly Father and His guiding principles.</span></span></span><br />
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<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0"></span></span></span><br />
<span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".jc.1:3:1:$comment10205056848131494_10205057771154569:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0">I want to end this post by sharing a beautiful video of a woman who has gone through indescribable trials that, unless we've gone through them ourselves, we could not comprehend. Stephanie Nielsen is an example to me of faith in our Savior and Heavenly Father, Their plan for us, and her desire to raise her family based on her faith and trust. She is an inspiration to me, and has been for millions of people around the world. (She has a <a href="http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/">blog</a> as well that is worth the read..... so faith building.)</span></span></span><br />
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-37071407029947740722014-11-10T21:45:00.000-08:002014-12-10T12:29:15.521-08:00Even Fathers Have Bad Hair Days<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><b><span style="color: purple;">"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness."</span> (The Family Proclamation para. 7)</b></i></div>
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I think this is my favorite post in this blog so far. It is very meaningful to me because of the wonderful responses I received from so many friends. Each of us has had our own unique experiences with fathers; some we cherish, some that stretched us beyond what we knew we were capable because of very difficult father/child relationships. But what I hope the reader will take away is that regardless of our experience with our fathers, we can become what our Heavenly Father knows we can be..... a cherished child of God who can rise above the trials that come our way.</div>
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So let's start this post on a lighthearted note, with a short, cute video. Enjoy......</div>
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What little girls wouldn't love being able to do this with/for their dad? In just 62 seconds, this video demonstrated a father realizing what his priority was right in that moment. He comes home from work; tired, feeling like he should spend time bowling with his buddies, then sees the look on his daughters faces and knows what he should do. Time..... that's all most children want from their parents, and in particular, fathers. </div>
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From the text <i>Successful Marriages and Families</i>, I came across this passage that I love:</div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><em>"To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations...... First, fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving Eternal Father's plan for family functioning. Second, a father's responsibility to preside occupies the first and foremost duty among the varied obligations that rest upon men in family life. Third, the manner in which a father is to exercise spiritual guidance among family members is explicitly articulated: 'in love and righteousness'"</em></span> (pg. 140-141)</div>
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I asked some friends what attribute about their father made an impact on them. These are their responses:</div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Hard working.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">My Papa was nonjudgmental, he made friends with anyone and everyone.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">He is brilliant, hard-working, loves the Lord passionately and is always learning.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055653701634:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055672702109:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055672702109:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055672702109:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">My dad is not quick to anger at all. I don't know that I have ever heard him yell.</span></span></span> </span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055222890864:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055303332875:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"> * </span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">My dad will drop everything to help someone, and never complains about it.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">My father was persistent, he never gave up when asked to accomplish something.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.$author"></span><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:0"> </span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">His commitment to the gospel and family.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Loves us enough to apologize and ask forgiveness when he has been in the wrong.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056263476878:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056338398751:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">My father is the BEST example of giving service regardless of time of day or weather. He also is the kindest man and can make friends with ANYONE!!!! </span></span></span> </span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056809330524:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056809330524:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056809330524:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Patient and loving, overall calm demeanor</span></span></span>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">A man who knew how to get it done, and if he didn't, he found a way.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">* </span><span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Hard working man who always provided for our family.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: #990000;"></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057218380750:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: #990000;">* <span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057602030341:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057602030341:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".dj.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057602030341:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Tender-hearted and humble.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">* (And this from a friend whose father died when she was a baby) I'm told and I believe he was a great man with a lot of patience.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;">Time for a commercial interruption..... enjoy!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/RYBwhasr4E4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;">That was the cutest thing ever! I look at the little girls above, and this little boy in the video..... they just want to spend time with dad! When I think about all the responsibilities fathers have as husband, father, provider, to preside, to protect..... they have a lot on their plate!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">"....a father's leadership in family life requires both quantity and quality time and that fathers give their time and presence in their social, educational, and spiritual activities and responsibilities." </span><span style="color: black;">(pg.144)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;">Now let's jump to a more serious discussion about the less than ideal situations with fathers. In a world where you hear more and more of fathers not being a part of their children's lives for one reason or another, it makes me sad not only for what the children are missing, but the father as well. The ties that bind our families together include all participants in the family: the father, mother, children, extended family members. Without any one of them, the bind isn't as strong. We need each one, and the father holds a special part that cannot entirely be replaced by anyone else. I had some friends, however, who told me some less than ideal attributes about their father, and to be authentic in this post, I wanted to add them:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* Self loathing, greedy, liar, con artist, user, adulterer, cheating, backstabbing, rapist, child abuser, he is useless.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"></span></span></span></span> </div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* Selfish</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"></span>I asked these friends if they would share what they learned from their experience with their father. One person told me this, and said I could share with you:</div>
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<em><span style="color: #073763;">As much as I despise my father, he is still my father, and he showed me what kind of father not to be. This man showed me more than a child should ever experience and taught me in the criminal ways, and did all manner of cruel things to us, even abandonment. Shelley, I said those things because I witnessed them and experienced them. I know what it's like to live life on the streets in the poorest of poor conditions, living around drugs, violence, and abuse. I will NEVER allow my kids to experience this. And that is what I learned, but in a very hard way. We may not have much financially but my children and wife have me, my experience to survive off of, and we do it by placing God first in our lives. It's the only way we make it.</span></em> </div>
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Another friend of mine responded with this beautiful message, of which she gave me permission to post here on the blog. </div>
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<em><span style="color: #134f5c;"> I wanted to share briefly how my dad and his choices affected me. Due to horrible choices his father made he was exposed to horrible things as a child, things no one should ever have to see. As a result, he has struggled his whole life with destructive addictions. He was a great provider, but emotionally absent in our family the whole time I was growing up. Looking back now, it impacted my life in profound ways. I call it looking for love in all the wrong places. Because I had no relationship with my dad, looking back I was willing to do some pretty stupid things to have a boyfriend. Thankfully I never followed through with some of those things, but I do remember I was willing. </span></em></div>
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<em><span style="color: #134f5c;">Ultimately, I married the first guy that proposed, and the reason? I thought it was my only chance. I distinctly remember feeling like if I didn't marry him no one would ever marry me. What does this have to do with my dad? I've watched girls who have a loving healthy relationship with their dad. It seems they are full of confidence, and they know who they are and their precious worth. It took me YEARS of heartache and precarious situations before I found that. I will say, however, that a lack of relationship with my father during formative years caused me to search out a relationship with my Father in Heaven, though, unfortunately, not until my adult years. But when I did that, and began to comprehend who I really was, and my worth in His sight, everything changed for me. </span></em></div>
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<em><span style="color: #134f5c;">I love my dad, and we have been able to build a loving relationship over the years as he has been honest with us and working to overcome his addiction. Because of his struggles I feel like I am a more compassionate person towards those who struggle. He is a good man, with a gentle heart, who is doing the best he can based on his life's experiences. His actions have profoundly affected who I am today. And while those actions were less than ideal, they have not destroyed me but rather caused growth, strength, and great love towards him within me. </span></em></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".25.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205057837116218:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"></span></span></span><em><span style="color: #134f5c;"></span></em></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="color: black;">I felt these were important to share, and I am so grateful these individuals allowed me to share them with you. They are shining testimonies to us all that even though they grew up in circumstances that are not ideal, they pulled through and became stronger because of it. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="color: black;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0" style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="color: black;">Fathers can be the best example to their children as they model righteous behavior and lead in a way that exhibits their love for Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><br />I would challenge you to consider the ways your father has made an impact on your life, and tell him! If you are a father, think of ways you can stretch yourself to give a little more time in your family, knowing that you provide a very important example of a provider, protector and one who presides. If your father has made choices that have had a negative affect on your life or in your relationship with him, I would suggest doing what my friends above did, and seek for the precious relationship you DO have with your Father in Heaven. Only He and the Savior can help heal wounds and bring peace.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055712663108:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205055779344775:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".2e.1:3:1:$comment10205055095487679_10205056931053567:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;">The following Mormon Message is my husband's favorite. He watches it all the time. It describes exactly how he feels as a husband and father. I am grateful for my father, the example he was and still his to his children, leading our home in righteousness. And I am grateful for my husband who works so hard in his role as father to our 5 children. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-6004909821834023122014-10-31T12:50:00.003-07:002014-12-10T12:22:05.982-08:00Motherhood - An Eternal Partnership With God<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: purple;"><i><b>Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. </b></i></span></div>
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<i><b><span style="color: black;">( The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 7)</span></b></i></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">I love the topic of mothers, probably because it is my life right now. There is nothing more that I wanted to be growing up, than a mother and wife. I have five beautiful children, four of which are living. My first baby died when she was just shy of four months old. I remember the day I had to leave the hospital without her. I broke down, it was devastating for me. She was my first and I wanted to mother her. I was blessed with four healthy children after her, and while I enjoy being a mother raising these very individual children, it can be hard at times. I wonder if I'm doing a good enough job. Will they stay on the straight and narrow? Am I being a good example to them? All I can do is my best and pray for them and myself daily to have the inspiration I need to be a good role model for them. As you watch this Mormon Message and listen to Elder Oaks (a member of the Quorum of Twelve Apostles), think of how we, as mothers, can perform unselfish acts by serving those in our immediate sphere of influence, our children. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;">While studying more deeply about families, I learned a lot about how much of the world views motherhood. In the textbook,<i> Successful Marriages and Families</i>, Jenet Erickson discusses in detail the importance of motherhood. She gave many insightful research data from 2005, but I wanted to get more up-to-date numbers, so I developed a poll and put it on Facebook. The questions are taken from topics in the textbook. The results of 25 mothers are as follows:</span><i><b> </b></i></span></div>
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These results intrigued me because the poll was taken by members of the church and non-members. While 100% of those polled said they felt motherhood was part of their divine destiny, a few felt that religious behaviors did not have a positive effect in their mothering. We've discussed so far in this blog positive reason of raising children in the gospel, and we will dive more deeply into that in the weeks to come. But this post is primarily about and for mothers, so that we can gain a greater understanding of our role.<br />
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Jenet Erickson describes mothers as nurturers in the following ways when talking about the goals of effective mothering:<br />
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<span style="color: #274e13;">* <em>Preserving life</em>: Studies consistently indicate that mothers have a significant role in influencing their children's health and well-being throughout their development. (pg. 133)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;">*<em> Nurturing growth and development</em>: The desire to sustain the life of the child..... the ways mothers nurture their children's individual growth is the critical influence on their development.... through helping create an environment of safety, peace, and learning. (pg. 133)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;">Motherhood has its ups and downs. There are good days, and there are bad days. I know for myself, sometimes I dwell on the bad and forget about the good. But something I have been trying to do lately is concentrate on all the good, whether it be big or small. My children range in ages from 7-15, and as they get older, I am realizing more and more that while motherhood has its challenges, they don't go away as the children age, the challenges just become 'different.' But I've also realized that when I am taking care of myself, I end up taking better care of my children. Erickson explains it this way:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;"><i><b>It is critical that mothers care for themselves and nurture their own minds, hearts, and bodies as they consecrate their minds, hearts, and bodies to mothering. They must be nurtured in order to be able to nurture those to whom they are consecrated. Elder M. Russell Ballard counseled mothers to:</b><span style="color: red;"> </span></i><span style="color: red;">find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less time to give to others, even to your children"<b> <span style="color: black;">(pg. 135).</span></b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">I have found Elder Ballard's words to be true in my own life. When I am taking care of myself physically, I am better able to care for my family. When I take some time just for myself, not too much time as to neglect, but enough to nourish my soul to replenish me, I feel renewed and ready to be the mother I was designed to be.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">In the text, Erickson says this about single mothers, <i><b> </b></i></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"><i><b>"Studies have consistently indicated, for example, that children do better under the challenging circumstances of divorce, poverty, and a parent's mental or emotional disability when rituals and routines such as family dinner, family prayer, assigned chores and responsibilities, and consistent wholesome recreation are in place" (pg. 136).</b></i></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">My previous post, <a href="http://thetiesthatbindthefamily.blogspot.com/2014/10/when-parentlng-alone.html">When Parenting Alone</a>, shares some examples of single mothers and their experiences.<i><b> </b></i></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">Erickson goes on to say that as we take part in the work of motherhood that we can find our greatest strength as we rely on the doctrines of Christ and ask for help. We should be assured that we will be strengthened in our calling as mothers...<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><b>."Truly, motherhood places her who honors its holy work next to the angels, for nothing could be of greater significance to God than the nurturing of His little ones-His precious children" </b></i></span>(pg. 137).<i><b> </b></i></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">In conclusion, I hope you will enjoy this beautiful message by Elder Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I hope we all remember that our role as a mother is an eternal partnership with God. </span></span></span></span></div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-56929873331940713312014-10-30T20:29:00.000-07:002014-12-10T12:21:43.265-08:00When Parenting Alone<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i><b><span style="color: purple;">In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to
help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other
circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families
should lend support when needed</span>. </b></i>(The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 7)</div>
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This blog post is dedicated to those who happen to find themselves as a single parent and have concerns raising children in the gospel. Please take a few moments and <a href="http://www.mormonchannel.org/magazines/ensign/2012/5/faith-fortitude-fulfillment-a-message-to-single-parents">listen to this brief talk</a> by Elder Baxter, speaking directly to single parents.</div>
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I found Elder Baxter's words to be so comforting and encouraging. I know that the leaders of our church care for all mothers and fathers, regardless of their marital status. But having said that, there are still real concerns that many single parents face with raising their children, and feeling adequate enough for the task. Our prophets and leaders, and especially Heavenly Father, knew, that while the ideal family setting is with both parents in the home rearing their children, it would not always be the case. That is why they understand that family adaptation is necessary. Single parents can still teach their children to live the gospel standards with faith.<br />
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In the book, <i>Successful Marriages and Families, </i>Hart, Newell, and Haupt say,<b><i> "Despite many similarities among modern-day families, each family has unique circumstances that affect the way parents raise their children" </i></b>(pg. 103). They also encourage,<b><i> "In parenting, mothers and fathers have the challenge and opportunity to apply general principles derived from inspired sources and adapt them to their individual and family circumstances as they diligently strive to meet their children's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs" </i></b>(pg. 103).<br />
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Ellen is a single mom having recently returned to activity in the church and is raising two teenage children. Ellen was not raised in the church, and her children are not members, but her daughter has taken interest in the church and she wants to support her in this. Her question is two-fold. <br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><i><b>1) How do you support one child embracing the gospel and the other who has no interest?</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><i><b>2) How do you raise a teenager in the gospel when I, myself, was not a member of the church as a teenager?</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Sandy, a life-long member, had this to say:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><b><i><span style="color: blue;">I think she will have to rely on the young women's leaders and the <a href="https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/ForTheStrengthOfYouth-eng.pdf?lang=eng">For Strength of Youth pamphlet</a>. My mom was a convert so she raised an LDS daughter even though she had never been an LDS teen herself. She should set the same standards for both children - not because the church says so but because it's something she wants to do. Even if they both were interested in the church that doesn't mean their experience and reactions to things would be the same.</span></i></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Julie, an adult convert to the church said:</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><i>I was thinking about one of my husband's brothers who left the Church. I remember, we would invite him to family dinners and birthdays and he would never come. We finally realized the reason: He was afraid of being judged, afraid of comments about why he wasn't at church. We still loved him and it was so hard to see him feeling bad. We knew he was on his own spiritual journey and we still have hope that one day he will come back to church. But if he never does, he knows we love him and he is important in our family. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><i>Although LDS missions, temple marriages, and baptisms were events that deserve celebrating, there were other wonderful things in this earth life to celebrate too: College graduations, new jobs, new babies, weddings, etc. Although I am still in the process of raising my children, I will be proud of all of them and their accomplishments, both of eternal nature and earthly temporal blessings.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">One of the blessings we have as members of the church are the various resources available to us in assisting with our responsibilities as parents. As Sandy mentioned, utilizing the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet will help Ellen greatly in establishing guidelines for her children. One of my favorite websites is the <a href="http://www.mormonchannel.org/">Mormon Channel</a>. There are many short little videos, such as the one's I post regularly on this blog, and many inspiring lectures to help us in bringing good media into our homes. From there you can listen to people around the world talk about their trials and triumphs and how the gospel helps them in their individual family circumstances. But with all there is at our fingertips, and as hard as we try to teach our children to live good honest lives, we must remember they have their agency. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">I have a friend, Jilyn, who is a single mother in the church. I asked her to share her perspective specifically for this post. She says:</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b><i>I’m so grateful for the opportunity I have to raise my daughter. I’m grateful for the opportunity I have to be able to raise her in a gospel centered household and have the gospel the center of our lives. It's so fun to be able to see those milestones where she learns how to pray and is so excited to have family home evening. We have pictures of Jesus and the temple in our house and she loves going to see the temple and even inside the waiting room. She has her own Book of Mormon and Bible and knows some of the pictures that are inside of it. She also looks forward to church and the opportunity to go to “my class” as she calls it, which is nursery. </i></b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><b><i>I’m so glad I have the gospel as a base in my house. Most single women don’t have a priesthood holder in the home, but for me, I’m fortunate to be living with both my mother and father and my dad is a worthy priesthood holder. Living with my parents and having frequent contact with family, my daughter has a wonderful role model between both of her grandparents and uncles on both sides of the family.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: black;">Jilyn is blessed to have her parents helping her at this time of her life, and as they do that, they are fulfilling the words of the proclamation that say: </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: black;"><i><b> Extended families
should lend support when needed.</b></i></span></span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Hart, Newell, and Haupt stated, <i><b>"Some children, despite gospel-centered teaching in the home, will use their agency to make decisions that take them far from parental values. In these cases, good judgment is needed to strike the right balance between love and law"</b></i> (pg. 113).</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">What I would say to Ellen, is to keep on doing what you're doing, setting a good example to your daughter who is embracing the gospel, as well as your son, who for now, is not showing an interest. The standards the church teaches ARE for everyone, regardless of our membership. I would say to Ellen that all that is expected of us is our best effort, and that the moral values you are teaching your children now will reap benefits we may not see at the moment. Said President Hinckley, <i><b> </b></i></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><i><b><span style="color: #990000;">"Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none other is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts becomes life's most satisfying compensation"</span> </b></i>(pg.115).</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">To conclude this post, I've added a short video of Ann, a single mom who has learned through her trials the importance of being a good example to her children. </span></span></span></span></div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-72646176500987340912014-10-30T12:15:00.000-07:002014-12-11T13:38:56.721-08:00Parenting - It's a Tough Job, But SOMEbody's Gotta Do It!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><i><span style="color: purple;">Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens where ever they live</span>.</i></b> ( The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 6)</div>
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I love this short little clip about a father taking the time to listen to his son. Time... that seems to be one of the biggest obstacles parents face when trying to rear their children. But it is what our children need the most from us. </div>
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Let's face it, raising kids is hard. I don't believe anyone ever said it would be easy, but babies are so cute and fun to have around; however, they're a lot of work. And it doesn't get any easier the older they get. Parenting is the most difficult job there is because no one child is alike, and no mother or father are equal to the next parent. But there is help, and Heavenly Father has provided a way for parents to rear their children through love and righteousness in the gospel of Jesus Christ.<br />
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Recently on Facebook I asked the question, "Why does it matter HOW we parent?" I wanted to share the following responses with you:<br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">Just look around at society. The majority of parents are detached, doing their own thing, kids are disposable (abortion, ignoring, or throw money at them instead of investing in them), entitlement men</span></span><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">talities (parents and kids), allowing a socialist education system to teach their children instead of being a part of the process, removal of God, values, ethics and morals, etc. </span><br data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$1:0" /><br data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$3:0" /><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0">Go back and look at an episode of Leave it to Beaver... whenever Ward isn't working, he's with June. They are a team, the family is together as a team. And while I realize it's a script... it set a standard for the 50's.</span><br data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$5:0" /><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0"></span></span></span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0">NOW... go look at current programing... draw your own conclusions. Yikes! Society totally reflects media.</span></span></span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"></span></span></span></i></span><span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0">Add to it that families/friends sit next to each other and text to each other. We're social beings... created to interact... not be on devices. </span><br data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$13:0" /><br data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$15:0" /><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204976239036317:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$16:0">I could go on and on... so many reasons why it's critical HOW we parent... because if we don't do it well... the world is chopin' at the bit to take over.</span></span></span> </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">Remember every soul is important in the eyes of GOD. Parenting is all about souls, little pliable minds and spirits. If we love them then we desire to teach them in all things. We then also desire to create in them a love o</span></span><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">f the arts and of knowledge. To help them understand that others feel the same pain, joy and despair and hope that they feel that they may be gentle in the lives of others. Parenting is basically example. Our example in all things... they become like us. So in parenting we have to look at ourselves in how we must change for the sake of growing better children than ourselves, we need to nourish them properly in all ways. Not just feed them but read to them out loud the best books, create with them in doing art, playing with clay, making bubbles to blow, doing experiments and talking about the results. Parenting is having fun with them, laughing with them, running and jumping, looking at bugs. Parenting should never just be correction, or sternness... but equal to love that our Father in Heaven gives us. He listens to us, thinks about the request or sends us back to think about our request, he makes us use our minds and develop our character. </span></span></span></span></span></i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #274e13;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".5m.1:3:1:$comment10204976090552605_10204978673937188:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;">I love the following video by Elder Hales on parenting:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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From the text,<i> Successful Marriages and Families</i>, David A Nelson quoted President Gordon B. Hinckley: </div>
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<i><span style="color: red;">As children grow through the years, their lives, in large measure, become an extension and a reflection of family teaching. If there is harshness, abuse, uncontrollable anger, disloyalty, the fruits will be certain and discernible, and in all likelihood they will be repeated in the generation that follows. If, on the other hand, there is forbearance, forgiveness, respect, consideration, kindness, mercy, and compassion, the fruits again will be discernible</span></i><span style="color: red;"><i>, and they will be eternally rewarding. They will be positive and sweet and wonderful.... I speak to fathers and mothers everywhere with a plea to put harshness behind us, to bridle our anger, to lower our voices, and to deal with mercy and love and respect one toward another in our homes. (pg.125)</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">The most common things you will hear members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourage families to do is daily scripture reading, daily personal and family prayers and weekly family home evenings. When done on a consistent basis we allow the Spirit to enter our homes and teach us, allowing inspiration to come to us individually and collectively for our family's needs. Nelson concludes by saying, <b><i>"In short, the family that embraces multiple opportunities to teach will generally find that they need to discipline their children far less often as their children internalize principles and gradually evidence greater ability for self-control" (pg. 126).</i></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">The world is a scary place, and we as parents shudder to think that our children will have to enter it combating all that is thrown at them. But we don't have to do it alone and without resources. We have so many tools at our fingertips in the church to help us along the way if we use what we already have at our feet: our homes for prayers, scripture reading and family togetherness. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">The most important tools have been given to us by a loving Heavenly Father as he has shown us the path to teaching our children as we do so in love and righteousness. We are their first example and how we treat our children, and the amount of time we devote to them shows them how much we love and care for them. <b><i> </i></b></span></span></div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-16902995652559651172014-10-17T22:17:00.000-07:002014-12-10T12:20:49.941-08:00How Do YOU Define an Equal Marriage?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: purple;"><b><i>By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.</i></b></span><span style="color: #351c75;"> </span><span style="color: black;">(The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para.7)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I love the above paragraph from <a href="https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation">The Family: A Proclamation to the World</a>. I appreciate the definitive terms used to describe the roles of husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. But what I love most about it is the last sentence...... <i>"In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are <strong><u>obligated</u></strong> to help one another as equal partners."</i> Equal partners! The world in which we live today has spoken loudly about the need for women</span> to feel equal to men, or there isn't enough equality in this or that. But Heavenly Father has clearly stated the divine roles of husbands and wives, and I have come to appreciate more fully the significance of this meaning. He is not saying that the husband is any better than the wife. He is not saying that the mother is of any less importance to the structure of the family. He is saying that each are to work together as equal partners, that we are obligated to do so.</div>
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In the book, <i>Successful Marriages and Families, </i>Valerie M. Hudson and Richard B. Miller discuss what is meant by the term equality. <em>"Equality is all too often used to mean 'identity'; that is, that two equal things must be identical to each other"</em> (pg. 38). Sound familiar? Yet in a marriage between a man and a women, both serve together in a partnership, equal to each other. From the text Hudson and Miller quote from Elder Bruce C Hafen (a member of the Seventy at the time):</div>
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<i><b>Genesis 3:16 states that Adam is to "rule over" Eve, but this doesn't make Adam a dictator.... Over in 'rule over' uses the Hebrew 'bet', which means ruling </b></i><b>with<i>, not ruling </i>over<i>.... The concept of interdependent, equal partners is well-grounded in the doctrine of the restored gospel. Eve was Adam's "help meet" (Genesis 2:18). The original Hebrew for 'meet' means that Eve was adequate for, or equal to, Adam. She wasn't his servant or his subordinate. </i></b></div>
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<b><i>(p. 40 (2007, p. 27))</i></b></div>
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Hudson & Miller go on to say that equal partners will help each other in their different roles. So what does this mean?<br />
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Haley, a convert to the church who has been a member for almost 2 1/2 years, and just recently married had this question.......</div>
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<span style="color: red;"><i>What should expectations be for housework for a busy husband? If he is busier than you, does that necessarily mean that he shouldn't be expected to do any housework?</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">I think this is a question many of us have had. This is not an uncommon issue to work through. Provided below are three responses from members of the church to this question.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">Shirley, a mother of 5 who has been married almost 12 years said:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><i>I'm blessed with a husband that doesn't view certain chores as "women's" work. With that being said, I'm not sure if he's EVER cleaned a toilet, (just kidding). But he is happy to help me with whatever is needed. As a stay-at -home mom my job is the home and kids- it's pretty much a 24/7 job. (Occasional breaks of a few hours here or there to myself). However I have a co-worker who shares the work load. His hours are also 24/7 but he has a slightly different job description than I do, that of making money for us to live on takes him out of our home several hours a day. Once home we share the responsibility of whatever is needed. But we have certain talents and strengths that have us focusing our individual skills in slightly different ways. I'm the better cook and usually but not always fix the meals. He's much stronger so he does most (but not all) of the wood cutting and stacking. Some things we are pretty equal in, we both tuck kids into bed and change diapers. We both do dishes and laundry (depending on the day and time it's needed). We both lead our family in prayers, sweep the floors, help with homework, and take the garbage out. However, I do what I can solo while he's at his "other" part of his job (making the money). I think husbands and wives need to make sure they are partners when it comes to chores as in everything else. But though partners are equal, they are also different. Communicating openly and often can help decide if job responsibilities need to be modified or added. </i></span><span style="color: red;"><i><span style="color: blue;">And one the MOST important parts of this "job partnership" is openly showing and expressing appreciation for all the work and effort your "coworker" (spouse) is doing. Nothing makes an employee want to do better than a pat on the back, a big kudos, or the employee of the month award! Saying thank you, I appreciate all you do, You're amazing, I'm so blessed to have you, You're a ROCKSTAR, and I love you, go A LONG WAY to making it all worth it! </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Amber, married almost 24 years with 5 children had this to say:</span></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue;">First, I think we need to be careful with the word "expectations".
Too often, I have found that if I expect "something" and that
"something" is not delivered, I can get frustrated and resentful when
and if that "something" is not fulfilled. I would rather like to think
that each spouse would have enough respect for the other spouse to
recognize and help when and where it is needed regardless of who had the
busier day. We all have busy days whether at work or at home, and in
many cases, who is to say they are busier than the other? </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue;">In
today's society we have seen an increase in role reversals where
father's stay home and mother's go to work outside of the home.
Regardless of who is at home and who is away at work all day, both
spouses still have responsibilities to help provide and nurture the
family. Each family unit is different from the next and requires
spouses to have an equal partnership in making sure their family is
provided for. Some days one spouse may do (or feel like they do) more
than the other but it's not about keeping track of who
does what; it's about working together and providing help where
needed. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue;">I am extremely
blessed to have a husband, who regardless of his ever growing workload,
will always know when and where to help. That is the epitome of love and
respect. He can sense it, he can see it and he can KNOW just what to
do.</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">And Letia, a mother of 2, married 6 1/2 years said:</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue;">Even though Paul's main job is making money and mine is
mainly taking care of the house and kids, we share responsibilities. We
both have strengths that we play to. We both work out of the house so
we have to have good communication to make things work whether we are
swapping places or getting a babysitter.
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<i><span style="color: blue;">When we were first married we had to discuss roles since
both of us lived on our own for some time before getting married. Paul
was and still is great at cooking and baking. He knew how to separate
and clean laundry. He was and is pretty tidy. I felt as the wife it
was my role to do the cooking most of the time. We did everything else
about equally until he had less time and I took over most of the
cleaning and all of the laundry. When he is home though, if he sees
something that needs to be done, most of the time he will pitch in.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: blue;">I really think each couple/family is different. What works
for one, might not work for another. You have got to talk about roles every
now and then. Circumstances change.</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Take a few minutes and watch this <a href="https://www.lds.org/broadcasts/archive/worldwide-leadership-training/2008/02?lang=eng">clip</a> from a round table discussion involving LDS church leaders as they discuss the family and individual roles. </span></span><i><span style="color: blue;"> </span></i><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">Begin watching the clip at 16.06 and stop at 18.25. (watch the video under the subtopic of </span></span><span class="talk">2008 Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting). </span><br />
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<span class="talk">What are the benefits of an equal partnership? There are MANY!! Hudson and Miller have outlined the following (p.43):</span><br />
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<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Happier relationships </span></span></div>
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<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Better individual well-being</span></span></div>
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<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* More effective parenting practices</span></span></div>
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<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Better functioning children</span></span></div>
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<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Better overall marital quality</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Less negative interaction</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Less likely to experience verbal aggression and physical violence</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* More satisfied with physical intimacy in their relationship</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Personal well-being of spouse is greatest</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;">* Generally better parents</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">Other links that are great resources for this topic of marriage roles, and well worth the time to listen are:</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;"><a href="http://www.mormonchannel.org/gospel-solutions-for-families/marriage-roles-part-1"></a><a href="http://www.mormonchannel.org/gospel-solutions-for-families/marriage-roles-part-1">Marriage Roles Part 1</a></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="http://www.mormonchannel.org/gospel-solutions-for-families/marriage-roles-part-2">Marriage Roles Part 2</a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">I want to leave you with some words of advice from my Facebook friends who shared their thoughts.......</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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</span></span></span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"><b><i>* I lived very much as an
independent "me" individual before marriage. I wish I had had the
mind set of a "we" and the "future" in terms of finances.
Saving, budgeting, and paying off/staying out of debt are great skills to learn
BEFORE marriage. My husband thankfully had those habits, but it has been hard
for me to develop those traits and desires.</i></b></span></span></div>
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span>
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"><b><i>* Love is fragile.... it
takes care, it takes much forgiveness, it takes joint effort to work, it takes
putting each other over others.. even mothers... help each other to accomplish
dreams and never ever discourage your partner in his dreams.</i></b></span></span><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></span></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"><b>*<i> No matter how much you love
each other...compromise is key to getting along and being happy.</i></b></span></span></div>
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"><b><i>* The real work comes after the
wedding. And be sure to actually like the person you marry--eternity is a very
long time. There will be days when you don't get along or you are tired or sick
or whatever but try to remember to be kind. Life should not always be dreary or
sad or depressing--have fun with each other--try new things--go new places. I
was 39 when I finally married & it was hard for me to give up my "independence"--I
was so used to making my own decisions & taking care of myself--it was a
difficult change to have someone else to live with & discuss things with
& make decisions with.</i></b></span></span></div>
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="talk"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: black;"> </span> </span></span></div>
<table class="sessions"><tbody>
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</tbody></table>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span><i><span style="color: blue;"> </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span><i><span style="color: blue;"> </span> </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i> </i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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</div>
Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-20230280863980152892014-10-16T21:26:00.003-07:002014-12-10T12:20:02.597-08:00Not Just a Spoonful..... But a Ladel Full of Love!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span style="color: purple;">Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other. <span style="color: black;">(The Family: A Proclamation to the World, para. 6</span></span><span style="color: black;">)</span></b></i></div>
<br />
Please take a couple minutes and watch this endearing short message of how couples express love to one another.<br />
<br />
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Isn't that the sweetest thing? Watching this video made me think of the little things my husband does for me. John and I have been married for 18 wonderful years, and he still refers to me and always introduces me as his bride. I imagine when we are old and gray, rocking in our chairs, that he will still call me his bride, and I'll still feel as lucky then to be his bride as I was the day we were married.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIyVKSRF6YVbE9hPut4KG15kwG15Bt28UWdUAsQeL_FgDPiXeRdiNWMzZsm5q4hVwcxxXNz9keiXXGjAyDFXqlxWyBBmSr1tGNmDiDgScg_rjyFZYRjUOKPLX6uKQ4Y6MdulvSvNZKk9s/s1600/wedding+picture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIyVKSRF6YVbE9hPut4KG15kwG15Bt28UWdUAsQeL_FgDPiXeRdiNWMzZsm5q4hVwcxxXNz9keiXXGjAyDFXqlxWyBBmSr1tGNmDiDgScg_rjyFZYRjUOKPLX6uKQ4Y6MdulvSvNZKk9s/s1600/wedding+picture.jpg" height="245" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
But let's be honest..... every day of married life isn't always peaches and cream. The honeymoon period is just that; a segment of time full of bliss and excitement as two independent people form a union, eager to share their lives together. But then something happens.... reality! Maybe the ad below sounds familiar to some???<br />
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<br /></div>
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<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/eS_4QhsU_uo/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/eS_4QhsU_uo&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/eS_4QhsU_uo&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<br />
What an example this couple is of patience: use it before you lose it! Sigh..... I know I could improve in that area, that is for sure. It seems like patience is a huge attribute to acquire for newly married couples, with so many opinions, ideas, and personality traits that are brought together. I love this example from Elder Bruce C. Hafen,<strong><em> "A bride sighed blissfully on her wedding day, 'Mom, I'm at the end of all my troubles!' 'Yes,' replied her mother, 'but at which end?'"</em></strong> (Successful Marriages & Families, pg.33 ). I had to laugh after I read that. Oh.... to be young and in love.<br />
<br />
I posed a question on Facebook recently asking what married couples wish they knew ahead of time, or what advice they would have for those about to be married. Some responses are highlighted in blue throughout the post, and some I've included here:<span style="color: blue;"></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0"> It's not about me. Marriage is about serving your spouse and doing so willingly, endlessly and with true joy. And ultimately it's about what brings God glory.</span><br data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$1:0" /><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$2:0"> • Don't lose the laughter.</span></span><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><br data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$7:0" /><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$8:0"> • You marry your spouses' family and all that comes with it.</span><br data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$13:0" /><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$14:0"> • Spend time in God's Word and in prayer together.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$14:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$14:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:0"> </span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">I wish I had known that September is elk hunting season. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$14:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;">(I had to include this one, I thought it was so funny!)</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: blue;"></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$14:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"> <i><b>* </b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$14:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".b4.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882043681492:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".b4.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882043681492:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".b4.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882043681492:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">I would recommend learning more about communication, personality types, love language, right brain/left brain, do a strength finder test to get to know yourself better, and be able to understand more about the people you are dating and why they might act the way they do, etc. </span></span></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884829431134:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884829431134:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884829431134:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Falling in love is easy, and courtship comes easy at first. It was a slap in the face to me, how hard marriage and unconditional love really is. It's SO important that we make a wise choice in our partner, not just an emotional one.....and that we stay truly committed to each other. </span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887432816217:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887432816217:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887432816217:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">I wish I had known that I would have to repeat myself. A lot. And that my husband can't read my mind.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
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<span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$14:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882023640991:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Such varied and honest responses, and maybe you don't necessarily relate to them all, but in each of them is some advice that can be applied to married life in one form or another. So how do we get our marriages to start off on the right foot, with<b> BOTH</b> feet planted, from both the husband and wife, firmly in the ground on solid foundation? From the text <i>Successful Marriages and Families, </i>Stephen F. Duncan and Sara S. McCarty Zasukha outline six foundational processes that couples can use in their lives to help their marriage blossom.<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><i><b>Foundational Process #1: Personal Commitment to the Marriage Covenant</b></i></span><br />
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From the Family Proclamation we read:<i> "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God</i>" (para. 1), "<i>husband and wife have a solemn duty to love and care for each other</i>" (para. 6), "<i>marriage.... is essential to His eternal plan" (para. 7). </i>As members of the LDS church, we believe that when we are sealed, or married, in the temples we have made covenants as a couple with God and that these covenants are founded on the teachings of Jesus Christ (pg. 28). Elder Bednar, an apostle in our church, explains this relationship in the diagram below.</div>
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The Savior</div>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8663824123886256649" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" src="data:image/png;base64,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" style="cursor: move;" /></a></div>
Husband Wife<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><strong><span style="color: purple;">"The Savior is positioned at the apex of this triangle, with a woman at the base of one corner and a man at the base of the other corner. Now consider what happens in the relationship between the man and the woman as they individually and steadily 'come unto Christ' and strive to be 'perfected in Him' (Moroni 10:32). Because of and through the Redeemer, the man and woman come closer together"</span></strong> (pg. 28).</i></div>
<br />
One of my favorite quotes comes from another apostle, Elder Robert D. Hales where he said:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><strong><span style="color: purple;">"An eternal bond doesn't just happen as a result of sealing covenants we make in the temple. How we conduct ourselves in this life will determine what we will be in all the eternities to come. To receive the blessings of the sealing that our Heavenly Father has given to us, we have to keep the commandments and conduct ourselves in such a way that our families will want to live with us in the eternities" (pg.29). </span></strong></i></div>
<br />
The best piece of advice I received on my wedding day came through a written card. In it the woman wrote, <em>"Remember the feelings you had for your husband as you knelt at the altar, because it will be those feelings that will carry you through the hard times that come."</em> I think of that often and ponder also on the feeling that we had a binding covenant with the Lord as well that has helped us through the trials we've encountered. <i> </i><br />
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<b><span style="color: red;"><i>Foundational Process #2: Love & Friendship</i></span></b><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887432816217:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887432816217:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887432816217:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204886211345681:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204886211345681:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204886211345681:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204886211345681:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204886211345681:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$text0:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b><b><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:0"> </span><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">I
would also say be best friends before marriage! Too often we have a
list of what we WANT in our future spouse. I think we would be wiser to
have a list for CAN NOT HAVE. Weaknesses have a tendency to stick with us
as challenges forever. For example if y</span></span><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".6m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204887561699439:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">ou're
a neat freak, you know that being married to a slob will be a bone of
contention maybe your whole marriage. Or if you hate to spend money,
then marrying a shopaholic will be really hard. It's important to know
each other's biggest weaknesses. If you can handle those, then you'll do
much better and be much happier!</span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$4:0"> * Make time for each other no matter how crazy your schedu</span></span><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">le gets.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$10:0"> * Look for ways to bless your spouse... daily. Especially important to do when you don't feel like it or they don't deserve it.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Just
know your communication style as well as your spouse's, how they like
to show love and how they want to be shown love. Know that marriage
isn't a feeling it's a path of growth and a lifetime of experiences.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$10:0"><span style="color: black;">Duncan and </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: black;">Zasukha suggest, <i>"Sometimes our couple conversation is all about the business of life: the job, th</i></span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><i>e kids, problems. Of course, these things need to be handled, but it is also important to simply talk as friends"</i> (pg 31). </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><i><b><span style="color: red;">Foundational Process #3: Positive Interaction</span></b></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">This is where I feel it is so important for us to remember why we married our spouse to begin with. We were willing to take the flaws that came and live with them. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$2:0">* Never speak ill of your spouse... no matter how badly they deserve it.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span> </span><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;">President Gordon B. Hinckley said, <i>"I have witnessed much of the best and much of the worst in marriage...... Faultfinding replaces praise. When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles" </i>(pg. 32).</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b>Foundational Process #4 & 5: Accepting Influence from One's Spouse</b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b> &<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"><span style="color: black;"><i><b><span style="color: red;"> </span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"><span style="color: black;"><i><b><span style="color: red;"> Respectfully Handle Differences and Solve Problems</span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0">* We all need to be heard, truly listened to... especially what we are saying BEHIND our words not just the actual words.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"> * Be a team. Be on the same page. Work together - not against each other.</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.0.$end:0:$0:0">My
wife and I dated for two years before we were married. One question we
asked each other was this: Visualize that someday your grandchildren
will be seated around the dinner table and one of them will be asked by
their grandchildren...."Grandma, te</span></span><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0">ll
me about your grandma" What do you want them to say? The answer to
that question is how you should live your life. You can't fake it
inside your family. They know you better than anyone else. They see
you at your best and at your worst. What you want them to remember and
pass onto their children, grandchildren about what kind of a person you
were is how you need to live you life. It is who they will remember.
That is your true legacy.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><b>*</b> <i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">Biggest
thing I can think of, and it takes both parties to be in on it
together, is to learn to "Get Over It". Fights are bound to happen but
when they do just let it go. You don't need to dwell on it for hours,
days, or even months.... Just forgive and forget.</span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">* </span></span></span></b></i><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882011640691:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882011640691:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882011640691:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0">I
don't know if I wished I had known, but I learned really fast about the
difference between listening and hearing. And hearing without pre-
thinking what I'm going to say. I also learned the no-no words not to say
in a fight " you always...you never...."</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884081252430:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884565464535:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".3m.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204884584425009:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"><span style="color: black;">Who doesn't want to be heard? We all want validation and respect for our thoughts and opinions. Our spouse should certainly be the one we can go to, to confide to and be an influence on. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$4:0"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$12:0"><span style="color: black;">Some steps </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$10:0"><span style="color: black;">Duncan and </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: black;">Zasukha suggest are:</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">Prevention</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">Eliminate destructive patterns</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">Calm yourself first</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">Bring up the concern softly, gently, and privately</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">Learn to make and receive repair attempts</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">Soothe yourself and each other</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;">Reach a consensus about a solution <span style="color: black;">(pg. 33-34)</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b>Foundational Process #6: Continuing Courtship through the years</b></i></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><i><b><span style="color: blue;"><i><b><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$6:0">* Men... never stop courting your wives. Ever!</span></span></span></span></span></span></b></i></span></b></i></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$6:0"><span style="color: black;">One thing John and I have tried to do these last 18 years is continue dating. Countless Friday nights have been set aside for date night. It isn't weekly, but it has been often. The dates don't have to be lavish, expensive or fancy. Be creative. Just do something. Make the effort of nourishing your marriage.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: blue;"><span data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body"><span class="UFICommentBody" data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0"><span data-reactid=".ab.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204881830596165:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.$end:0:$0:0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0"><span data-reactid=".ai.1:3:1:$comment10204881775794795_10204882020560914:0.0.$right.0.$left.0.0.1:$comment-body.0.3.0.$end:0:$6:0"><span style="color: black;">I want to end this blog post with a sweet, touching video of one man's love for his wife as he lovingly takes care of her while they both suffer from physical ailments. I feel it sums up beautifully the admonition that "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-84888169972875615862014-10-14T11:19:00.002-07:002014-12-10T12:17:47.372-08:00A Proclamation for the World<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints family is HUGE! Family, for us, is central to our existence here on earth. We believe that we can be with our families forever, beyond this life, dependent of course on our worthiness and obedience to God's laws and covenants we have made.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/leuBP-SmFdI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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We believe that prophets live today and are directed by God to give us guidance and revelation, just as they were in Biblical times. A recent past prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley, read a document to the women of the church in September 1995 titled, <a href="https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation">The Family: A Proclamation to the World</a>. This document has been foundational in our church, but was not intended just for Mormons. This was meant for all the world no matter what faith or religion you belong. In presenting Pres. Clinton with a record of his family history and a copy of the proclamation he said, <i><b>"It is our feeling that if you're going to fix the nation, you need to start by fixing families. That's the place to begin" </b></i>(Go Forward With Faith, Dew, pg 527). I would invite you to take the time to read this inspired document and contemplate the message of families and how you can apply the principles therein to guide you.<br />
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President Hinckley said this before he read the proclamation: <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXYQg2yCM3YXceuNY-GspDsgGMre9KyZfBCAMo4StYIj17PC_e28UtsVVViP6ehlAfSTkawruQhA_q_3gGPD8YDZgi_p6Ao6AzTxF7t3t6ZwrHxDGCId17XO8PbS6jV7IPk6TH6k86pqE/s1600/hinckley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXYQg2yCM3YXceuNY-GspDsgGMre9KyZfBCAMo4StYIj17PC_e28UtsVVViP6ehlAfSTkawruQhA_q_3gGPD8YDZgi_p6Ao6AzTxF7t3t6ZwrHxDGCId17XO8PbS6jV7IPk6TH6k86pqE/s1600/hinckley.jpg" /></a></div>
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<i><b>"With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of
deception concerning standards and values, with so much of allurement
and enticement to take on the slow stain of the world, we have felt to
warn and forewarn. In furtherance of this we of the First Presidency and
the Council of the Twelve Apostles now issue a proclamation to the
Church and to the world as a declaration and reaffirmation of standards,
doctrines, and practices relative to the family which the prophets,
seers, and revelators of this church have repeatedly stated throughout
its history. I now take the opportunity of reading to you this
proclamation: </b></i>(the entire article can be read <a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1995/10/stand-strong-against-the-wiles-of-the-world?lang=eng">here</a>).</div>
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After a 20 year hiatus, I decided to return to college to obtain my bachelors degree. In taking all these classes I have textbooks to help guide me in my learning with instructors helping me along the way. When we build a home or put furniture together we have blue prints or instruction manuals so we make sure everything is built correctly and doesn't fall apart. The Proclamation on the Family is our guide to help build strong families, helping us understand the roles we each have that plays an integral part.<br />
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In my own family I have tried to implement this document as a resource; my guide in helping to define my role as well as my husband's role. It has been a great resource in teaching how we can achieve happiness and realize our full potential as an eternal family. I have the proclamation hung on my wall in my home, in two different places. In one of my former classes I memorized a paragraph each week so it would be on my mind more often. My family is far from perfect. There are many areas where we all can improve. But with this proclamation as our blue print, it keeps us on track and motivates us to learn to be a happier family. The proclamation is taught to the youngest of children in our congregation so they can understand the importance of family at a young age. This is the blue print we have to build our family, to form a solid foundation. I know these teachings are true and is making a difference in the world. In the book, <i>Successful Marriages and Families, </i>David Dollahite, a professor at Brigham Young University, (pg. 315) said, <i> </i><br />
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<i><strong>"Several pro-family organizations have been established since the proclamation was first introduced, and a number of those have used the proclamation..... For example, the Doha Declaration, which was recognized by the United Nations General Assembly on December 6, 2004, contains many of the proclamation's central teachings."</strong></i> (Seymour, 2005). </div>
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Lloyd Newel said it perfectly, "<b><i>The proclamation speaks to the hearts and minds of our neighbors, friends, and those who care about the strength of the family as it declares the sacredness of family life and calls upon us to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society" </i></b>(Successful Marriages and Families, pg. 317).</div>
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As you read and listen to the Family Proclamation, what questions do you have that you would like further insight to? This blog is intended to help those not familiar with the proclamation, and those who are curious about Mormon families to come take a deeper look and see how this proclamation can help your family too. </div>
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8663824123886256649.post-53684627952258150002014-10-09T14:04:00.002-07:002014-12-10T10:28:53.012-08:00Why This Blog<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If there is anything in this world that each of us has in common with each other, it is that we came from and are part of a family. Perhaps this family consists of both parents, one parent, or maybe no parent is in the picture at the moment. There could be brothers, sisters, or no siblings. Some couples have children, some don't. Some families are large, some are small. Regardless of our circumstance, or whatever life has thrown at us, we are all part of a family in one form or another. <br />
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What I have come to learn through the family I grew up in and the family my husband and I are raising now is that there are binding principles that tie us together. These principles help us get through the trials and helps us to enjoy the triumphs. These principles have been taught by past and present prophets and apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through a declaration titled, <a href="https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation">The Family: A Proclamation to the World</a>.<br />
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I have grown up with these principles and my husband and I earnestly strive to teach them to our children. But as this world-wide church is growing, and we come in contact with new members or recently activated members, I have become more aware of the fact that some of these concepts are not as readily understood, or some feel that keeping a family tied together is unattainable. As the world's values and morals shift with the trends of the time it is more important than ever that we place our family as the highest priority of securing those precious relationships we have in what we call the family. Below is a picture of our family drawn by my 10 year old daughter. The string binding us together are the covenants, principles and applications of the gospel. Sometimes the string gets loose and we have to work on tightening it. But the effort put into tightening the string is worth it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjK8uVAoyApF0bHxf7nyZ46Tmrt11eCgaUUoR4Ew2vbTnKlEYDdUtH1I4r4y4Sg-snkfGy0i6uaTtR-4ICJq05c8IUFImTNkos1-y5_uj9tka99kFRgnT1oLcuZFDLofLpCyrCQrGOJwM/s1600/family+ties2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjK8uVAoyApF0bHxf7nyZ46Tmrt11eCgaUUoR4Ew2vbTnKlEYDdUtH1I4r4y4Sg-snkfGy0i6uaTtR-4ICJq05c8IUFImTNkos1-y5_uj9tka99kFRgnT1oLcuZFDLofLpCyrCQrGOJwM/s1600/family+ties2.jpg" height="188" width="320" /></a></div>
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This blog is dedicated to those who are investigating our church, are new members, or those who are coming back into activation, as a way to ask questions about the family they are seeking answers to, and to receive guidance and inspiration from current members and leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Information provided will be primarily from the text <i>Successful Marriages and Families</i> edited by Alan J. Hawkins, David C. Dollahite, & Thomas W. Draper, messages and videos from <a href="https://www.lds.org/?lang=eng">www.lds.org</a> and <a href="http://www.mormonchannel.com/">www.mormonchannel.com</a>. <br />
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Comments, questions and answers will be encouraged so that we all may have the opportunity to learn from each other. And let us always remember what matters most..... <br />
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Shell's Diarieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15603193786730013400noreply@blogger.com0